Standing in the middle of a warm and the same time cold room, Ben has not comprehended yet which direction his life has been pivoted to. Over three weeks now and what they have been petrified just take place. He tried to see the dark room through the curtain of tears covering his face. What is happening? He thought mutely in the dark and laid on the bed near to him. Thousand of images defiled in front of him as he could just touch it and take his time to analyze the thoughts of everyone in the scene in particularly his mother, brothers and sister.
January 2sd. Ben always thought that this day is a very special and precious day to cherish in family. He knew that since he was born. However, this year has taught him the opposite of things. An Obscure day he would like to never remember in his life, but still he would live with this abstruse day until he leaves this world and go to meet him again to a world there are not gloomy but sunshine shining everyday. Even on his twelve years on this world, this event never ever grazed his mind even for a second. A day that his father would just evaporate in the nature without say bye and never come back. Of course he saw him again for the last time before he went to sleep forever in a bed not as usual. His father was just laid there, white as snowman and never said anything even open his eyes to see people he was there for him. Ben wondered why his father was in that state and also wondered why his cheeks were wet.
1 comment:
ur intro is very descriptive and I like how you use a metaphor to describe the character's face. I got hooked on because I was wondering where your character was. I did understand where your character was because of all the details. Your problem was sort of clear because you was describing how your character was crying. Their is some improvements that need to be made but everything else is amazing.
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